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Is your relationship toxic?

The men and women who make up a toxic relationship come in many sizes, shapes, ethnic groups, and educational and economic backgrounds, but the chaos, mayhem and damage they all manage to create are pretty much the same across the board.

They will have complete control, you will have zero control, and the relationship will be completely out of control. Toxic people can and will go from zero to sixty at the drop of a hat, very much like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, only there is no potion to reverse them back. No matter what you do, you cannot keep the peace because they can go postal at any time and without good reason.

IA toxic romantic partner is your judge, jury and executioner. You can plead your case and argue your side of the story, but your pleas will fall on deaf ears. You hope they will listen to reason, that they will give you a chance to explain, but toxic men and women are never reasonable.

So what classifies a toxic relationship? Here are some signs to look out for:

  • If your relationship is dependent on finances. If you are with someone who depends on you financially and takes advantage of you financially, your relationship is toxic and based on money rather than love.

  • If there is a pattern of lying, cheating, stealing or any behavior or betrayal that they consistently bring to your relationship.

  • If your daily mood is affected mostly by how he/she feels that day or how they decide you should feel that day.

  • If you have to keep the bulk of your relationship a secret from those closest to you, you are in a toxic relationship.

  • If fear of judgment, shame, and not wanting to hear the truth keep you from telling the truth about your relationship, this is a major toxic red flag.

  • If you don't feel free to express yourself verbally or emotionally.

  • If you are too scared to express your hopes, dreams, goals, wants, needs and opinions this is another huge red flag.

  • If you feel you cannot be yourself for fear of repercussions.

  • If you are constantly trying to keep the peace in the relationship at the expense of your own peace of mind.

  • If abusive language and behavior are common in your relationship, that is a sign of a toxic relationship. Furthermore, if you are being physically abused by your toxic guy, it is time to get out of that relationship.

  • If your communication always leads to an argument of some sort, your relationship is toxic.

  • If you can admit to yourself that the relationship you are in has held you from "being all that you can be", you can bet it is because your relationship is toxic.

  • If you are abandoning your own dreams and desires to help them fulfill their own, you are in a toxic relationship.

  • You have a toxic romantic partner if you can use the following terms to describe your partner: controlling, narcissistic, over jealous, manipulative, overly competitive, dependent, needy or melodramatic.

How do you fix a toxic relationship? You can't. There is really nothing you can do to fix your toxic partner, it is too big a task quite possibly even for professional therapists. It is time to stop questioning your sanity and start questioning theirs. It is time to stop trying to reason with someone who is unreasonable. It is time to stop trying to make a toxic relationship work because a toxic partner works against you, not with you. It is time for you to do a major detox and get this relationship out of your system. Your worth it!

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